Thursday, January 28, 2010

A Year of E-isms

Yes, this is long. These are some of my favorite quotes of Eleanor from 2009.

I asked E what she would be like when she was grown up. She answered, "I'll talk about boring things."

I was informed by E that she is "really getting into peanut butter." Or, as she explained, "that means I really like it."
"Why doesn't the computer need blankets when it sleeps?"
E has Barack Obama and unicorns indelibly connected in her mind.
I love hearing E exclaim "Hibernate!" as she's going to sleep.
E takes her Sunday school lessons to heart. She made a temple out of tator tots at lunch.
E's song: "Jesus is stong, he can catch you."
I am trying to find the answers to some of life's (ie E's) harder questions, such as "How do rabbits hug and kiss?"
I just explained to E why you can't talk to God on the phone.
I'm amazed by E's new logical thinking: "I have two arms, so I can play with this arm and clean with the other one."
E: "God and Jesus want us to love the bugs in our community."
I introduced E to Lucky Charms. E now asks for "that cereal that's stuffed full of sugar."
I was informed by E, "Did you know that you were married before I was born?"
E thinks that eating chips will help her "grow healthy and strong."
E's pressing question, "Do pipe cleaners really clean?"
Reassuring E daily that if the baby is a girl we will name it something other than Eleanor. She's very worried about this.
E quote today, "Daddy's such a good daddy."
E calls Mr. Potato Head "Potato Man."
E's dreams, "A friendly goose came to see me..."
I was just informed by E that "mouths are kind of like uteruses."
E asked, "Is Jesus in castles?"
E said, "I have a plan to go out somewhere after dinner."
Me: Look Eleanor, you are wearing a striped shirt and striped panties. E: That's so oppressive. (I think she meant impressive.)
E: Watch this! Me: Wow. You cut play-doh with scissors. E: I'm special like that.
E's picture of our family includes both Eleanor and "teenage Eleanor."
I love E's misuse of prepositions: "Let's pray for God to not be scared."
E drew a picture of Barack Obama playing in my belly with the baby. Apparently, he pulled back my skin and drove his car in. And he has three ears so that he can hear "more good."
I tried to explain to E that even though Matt is not allergic to monkeys, we can't have one as a pet...even if we keep it outside.
I was just instructed by E to "make money so God will be invited to the picnic in our hearts.
I am "a smart woman" according to E.
E is in her tent "practicing camping." I think she's excited about going camping.
I love listening to E make her dolls talk. A puppet said, "I just realized that I don't have any feet! But I can still stand up." Two Pollys were talking, "We are similar." Fry (from Futurarama) is the husband and referred to as such.

I was amused and a bit disturbed to hear E say she "would like someone to cut [her] open with a knife so [she] could see what was inside."
I had to convince E that popcorn is not a good breakfast food, even though, "It's a vegetable. It's good for me!"
E: "Maybe someday we could build a tree house and get some bears to live in it."
E finished playing XBox 360 and said, "Now can I watch some videos on YouTube?"
I was the parent in Target who was being followed by a three year old pretending to be "a kitty cat that acts like a frog."
E just decided she wants a toy garlic you think they sell those at Target?
After E "gives birth" to her teddy bear she says, "I'm not so sure about staying at the hospital." My thoughts exactly.
I tried to explain to E that angels are not "half bird and half human like mermaids are half fish and and half human."
E says, "I don't like your kisses, but I love you."
E and I were walking today when we saw some dog poop. E asked what it was, I told her. Then she said, "Oh, I thought it was a human doing the bad habit."
Warning: If E offers to "beautiful your hair" what she really means is she will get a comb so entangled that drastic measures will need to be taken to get it out.
I have a "big bum-bum" according to E. Isn't it nice how kids can make you feel so great about yourself? "It's just so big."
E quote of the day: "U is for uterus!"
E quote of the day, "Daddy doesn't have milkies."
E quote: "My toes aren't clear any more. I didn't paint them. One of my friends did. She's a teenager."
E quote of the day: "Fireworks? Oh, yeah! Those are those polka dots in the sky!"
E quote of the day, "Sometimes when Big Pig has a lot of babies in her belly, her back gets fat."
Out of the blue E quote: "People can't sell children. That's why we don't do it in our family."
I had fun seeing little chubby cheeks on the ultrasound. E kept saying, "I'm excited about the baby. Even if it's a boy it will be okay because then it will be like Elliot." (Elliot is our 6ish month old neighbor that E adores.)
I was greeted first thing this morning by E saying, "Mommy, let's do laundry today." Me: "We're out of quarters." E: "We can go to the bank and get some." She sure is a problem solver.
E had a major freak out at swim lessons this morning when her favorite teacher wasn't there. Her talking about it later: "I was covering my eyes so my mouth wouldn't cry."
I just showed E a picture of the Beatles. Her response: "But they look like humans."
I wonder if Matt ever thought his SpiderMan action figure would be "imagining he's a princess ballerina." Those commercials are right. Having a kid changes everything.
I love that when asked to draw a picture of something God loves, E drew herself.
E just threatened to take away all of my sugary treats.
I was amused and slightly embarrassed when E loudly announced mid-grocery store that two of her Polly Pockets were getting married. Why do all the conservative people I know have to be around when E is leaning to the left?
Of course it's my kid that falls off her tricycle and exclaims loudly (much to the amusement of passers-by), "Don't worry! I'm not hurt! Well, except for my nipple."
When Calico Critters and Pollys play, strange things happen: "She tried to get married to a cat but the problem was she was a human."
E: "The flies won't hurt you. Why do you want to kill them?"
Favorite E out of the blue inquiries of the day: 1. What's an astronaut? 2. Mommy, explain to me why frogs eat bugs. 3. Are cats mammals?
When passing by a gym yesterday (one with large windows), E asked me about the "trick stairs that people were climbing but never got to the top."
E's philosophical questions have begun: "Do you think we are toys for a really big person's little girl to play with?"
E quote of the day: "Uh-oh! Daddy escaped!!" after Matt jumped out of the car at a stop light to go back to work.
E: "Abby is one of my best friends and they're MOVING."
E: "Mommy, I'm more excited about the baby than my next party."
E has taken to calling the baby "that little human inside your belly."
Seriously, how many just turned four-year-olds declare, "No, I don't want you to control me. I want to control me." (This was after I gave her the choice of reading a book or playing with new toys before rest time.)
E quote (to me): "It's hard for me to lean on you when your stomach's not flat."
E: When I get older, I'm going to be complicated. Me: You already are. E: You are too, Mommy.
E: I don't like all my favorite friends moving away. It ruins my day!
E, regarding a new cake eraser: "How clever! It breaks apart!"
E was very disappointed to learn about "valet parking." She thought I said "ballet parking," which does sound much more interesting.
E, while we were sorting beads that she had mixed together: "Why are you forcing me to do this?"
E: "Mommy, is the baby making you have 'tractions?" I explained to her the other night what a contraction was. Now she periodically feels my belly to check for them.
E, when I told her that her favorite skirt is dirty: "Then I'm never going to be your child again. I'm never going to be your little helper again."
"I'm sorry crayons. I didn't mean to dump you out. I was just turning on the light. I'm sorry crayons."
After the 45th tantrum of the day, I asked E why she thought the day was so rough. E: "You need to be nicer to me."
E, while dancing around the living room with small spools of thread on her fingers: "I'm a monster princess, but not a scary one--a nice one."
E to baby, after expressing concern that the baby might be unsure of its surroundings: "Baby, you're inside a uterus."

Today Cinderella surprised the prince with three babies after they were married. The prince's reaction: "Wait, this is not how the general story goes." Don't worry. Sleeping Beauty stepped up to marry the prince too, so there were two mommies for the babies.
E was changing clothes when Matt pointed out to her that her panties were on backwards. E: "Oh, so that's why I've been getting so many wedgies."
E, when trying to convince Matt and I that Matt should take her to the playground instead of her going to Target with me: "You should go alone Mommy. That way there won't be any whining or crying."
E on gender differences: "Boys like guns, but girls like to dance."
E wants to give her friend a flower for his birthday b/c she thinks it's "much more beautifuler than the Star Wars toy."
E asked me today when we were "going to the hospital to let the baby out." I wish it were that simple.
E to baby: "Baby, I love you but Mommy wants you to come out."
E: Why does Harold only have a purple crayon? Why not a blue one?
E: "I wonder why Dr. Yu doesn't have any toys in her office. Because there's some kids that are going to be big sisters or big brothers and really kids like to play with toys. And so, everytime we go there you make me have to pack toys and stuff to color."
E just asked if she could have one of my bras to use as "a double sided swing for the Polly's" (Polly Pockets).
Tonight in Target, E pointed to an ironing board and said, "Look at that surf board!" This indicated two things to me: 1. We don't iron very often (or ever) and 2. Living in SoCal has definitely been influential for E.
E said her umbrella was a "rain sanctuary." I'm not sure which word I was more surprised she knew--rain or sanctuary.
E took our worship leader's charge to "worship in whatever way you feel comfortable" to heart and danced in the least the song was "Every Move I Make."

In sunday school E learned the story of Joshua and the "battle" of jerico. On the way home she said, "I hope no cities in California fall down when people yell and stomp."
Me: Be careful not to hurt Charlotte. E, indignantly: I didn't hurt her. No pieces came off.
E, alone in kitchen: “Watch where you're going chair! I wish the chair had eyes.”
When I told E that the fluffy pink skirt she wanted at Macy's was too expensive, she crossed her arms and declared, "I wish this was a yard sale."
I'm pretty sure E is going to be either a politician or a used car salesperson when she grows up: "How about this: we'll make a compromise. I'll rest a little and I'll play a little."
I ate most of a box of candy before E noticed and asked that I share. Her comment: "Hmm. I wonder why there was only three pieces. Maybe they knew it was sugery and that it was bad for kids and they didn't think kids would share."
E: "Scout, you're my favorite friend."
E, talking to her tutu: "Don't worry. I'm not like other girls who would say, 'I'm not going to wear you ever again.' "
E: "Can't I have some internet?"
E: "Mommy, Daddy talks for a long time when he starts talking."
E: "Mommy, come see!! I'm counting and I'm not even leaving out five!"
E's new tactic to get me off the phone: "Mommy, Charlotte needs your attention."
My favorite event of the evening was E doing a coin trick. It involved her pretending to throw a coin up in the air, then running in her room, setting it down, coming back and saying, "Where did it go?"

E: "I wish we lived in Arkansas. Then we could see Meme every day. We could go places together and visit each other's houses."
E's recipe for Sugary Pancakes: "Half cup of flour, sugar, honey and chocolate."
E: "If you help me clean two rooms, I'll help you make hot chocolate."
E: "Fridays and Mondays are the two days I want short hair."
E: "I get love from sleeping."
E, loudly, about C: "Oh look! She's asleep! No, wait, her eyes are open now. Hi Charlotte!"
E: "I'm making money for people who don't have very much money or people who don't have any money. But I can't send them all of my money because then I wouldn't have any money and they would have to send it back."
"I want to see the man who brings the prizes." (She means Santa)


"CELEBRATED" said...

My favorite is E wishing Macy's was a yard sale! :)

Teraz14 said...

My favorite:
"Fireworks? Oh, yeah! Those are those polka dots in the sky!"

Simplistic, yet perfectly described.

Thanks for sharing!!

Griz said...

This is my favorite blog post EVER!